on tight jeans.

12 Sep

You know that feeling when you put on a pair of jeans you haven’t worn in a few months? How the starched-out cotton clings to your thighs & you have to wriggle around to get the zipper to zip, despite not having gained any weight? The way you awkwardly waddle from place to place as they reform to fit your legs?

Yeah, this feels a little bit like that. Awkward, stilted, starched, self-conscious. Like a high school reunion (not that I would know). But hi. I’m back.

I’m 2nd from the left in case you can’t remember what I look like.

I wish I could tell you that my two-month absence was because I was out living it up in the summer sunshine, but I’ve always been a pretty bad liar (no poker face to speak of, unfortunately). And while I have done my fair share of fun, exciting things this summer, the truth is that I haven’t posted because I’ve been in a bit of a “funk”.

I don’t usually get very personal on the blog not because I don’t trust you, but because I like my blog to be a “happy place”. But I figure at least a cursory explanation is in order.

This “funk” has really been a long time coming. For at least a year I’ve felt myself losing grip of my bits of exuberance and vivacity that used to define me as a person. I’m not sure if people can really tell from the outside, but mentally I get in very negative places fairly frequently. During the school year, I’m too busy to dig myself into mental trenches, but summer tends to invite brooding and the subsequent haze of negativity. I did a lot of questioning of my blog’s purpose and most of my evaluations came up negative. Not to mention that my overall motivation was at an all-time low.

And really, it’s easy to watch the time slip away. A day. A week. Two. Six. Two months. You fall into a rhythm of mediocrity and lackluster living that just isn’t worth it. But once you dig yourself fairly deep, it can be hard to get back out.

These help. :)

I really don’t want to bore you to tears with yet another sob story, nor do I particularly want to garner any pity, but the point is that I’m reviving myself, one small step at a time. It might start with just getting out of bed for a workout. Just stepping outside for a ten-minute walk. Just getting enough momentum to do one small thing. But eventually those become easier, and eventually you can move on to the bigger things.  Eventually that stilted, awkward feeling gives way as the cotton bends & stretches & everything becomes second nature again.

These too!

This conveniently is coming just before the start of the school year when I’ll probably be slammed with work, so I can’t promise how often I’ll post. I also am still kind of evaluating the direction of my blog, but that’s a story for another time.

The point of this lengthy, wordy, and probably overly-personal post is twofold. Firstly, to kind of say hello and offer a meager justification for my extended absence. Secondly, to remind anyone and everyone out there who’s having a bad day, week, month, year, that it can and will get better. I don’t really have a lot of answers about how, but I’m always open to discussing my experiences more via e-mail (and possibly on the blog if anybody really wants to know, though it admittedly makes me a little nervous).

So here’s to softening jeans & remembering how to smile & finding those bits and pieces you think you’ve lost along the way. They’re always there. You just have to find them.

How do you get out of funks?

Anything in particular you want to see on my blog? I have a million pictures from the summer that I’ll be releasing in doses, but I’m sort of rethinking my general formula… Sometimes I feel like I just write fluff. Maybe that’s just me being negative though!

Personal stuff on blogs: yay or nay? 

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29 Responses to “on tight jeans.”

  1. Emilia Miller (@NamasteGurl) September 12, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    Nicole, I couldn’t relate more. That’s the same kind of “funk” i’m in and school doesn’t make it much easier. I feel *SO* incredibly bad I can’t post when I don’t have any time due to school, but at the same time, it’s for a good reason and I shouldn’t feel bad. I don’t want to post because I have to and feel it be an obligation, rather than I want to and have something to say.
    Post when you can and want to– don’t feel pressured. Know that others relate exactly with you! xoxo

  2. Jess@atasteofconfidence September 12, 2011 at 8:10 pm #

    I’m sorry to hear about your funk. I have definitely been there, too. It’s definitely easy to get sucked into stuff like that. I hope you are doing better, and I am seriously always here if you need to talk. Email me!

  3. Mariel (@Marielxox16) September 12, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

    hope you feel better soon! xo

  4. Kaila @ healthyhelperblog! September 12, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Happy you’re back!! We’ve missed you!!

  5. Molly September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

    glad you’re back! I can definitely relate. When I get in those type of “moods” (if you can call it that) I just have to keep reminding myself to “choose happiness” and “choose positivity” and I don’t always listen to myself… but sometimes I do.

    xo

  6. happytalesblog September 12, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    Giiirl, I TOTALLY feel ya!!! My life has become crazy busy, and blogging has taken a bit of a backseat (i still post sporadically, though!). If you ever want to vent about anything at all, i’m willing to be a listening ear!!! Love you, girl!!!

  7. Alaina Rose @ Sweetness Of Life September 12, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    You are beautiful! Welcome back love. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been in a funk but thank you for sharing that with us, because we’ve all been there and it’s something that I think everyone can relate to. Getting out of a funk can be a tricky slippery struggle. It’s easy to keep sliding deeper into it when all you want is to climb out and get un-funkdified! I have faith that you will find your way though…with everything. Getting out of your funk, figuring out your blog’s direction, etc…it will ALL fall into place. I’m going to say it again because it’s so very true: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL <3

  8. Carrie (Moves 'N Munchies) September 13, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    i feel you- what i can say is that we all go thru these! .. they suck.. bad.. but it means you shud change your routine up a bit! rearrange your room? things like that really help!

  9. Hals September 13, 2011 at 12:53 am #

    I love you. And this school year I’ll try my best to help you do fun things :)
    xo

  10. fashionfitnessfoodie September 13, 2011 at 4:35 am #

    Totally go through these funks as well – Things that help me are buying new clothes, decorating my living room differently – it makes me start out on a new foot.

    Welcome back, hope you stay :)

  11. Thais September 13, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    sending you love and more love!! blogs are about support – if you ever need anything you know that by simply writing it you will have a network of people loving you and wishing you the best.
    xx <3

  12. Rachel September 13, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    i loved what you said about things getting better. i definitely needed to read it today. for me, it’s easier to be open on my blog because i don’t personally know the people exactly, so i can’t feel the results of it in my day to day life. so i can say all the things i want to say without fear. i hope things get easier and easier each day for you!

  13. keepnthefaith September 13, 2011 at 11:45 am #

    great post darling. i get into a funk every now and then. thankfully i have a husband who comes home and pretty much snaps me right out of it with just one smile. on those days where nothing goes right and it seems like the world is fighting against me, i just thank God for life and know that tomorrow will be a new start. and i’m all for personal blog posts!! you never know what kind of awesome response you are going to get to just make your day :):)

  14. Ellie@fitforthesoul September 13, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Heyyy Nicole~~I truly appreciate your honesty with us! Like you said, it can and WILL get better. I don’t know if you believe the same way at all actually, but I firmly believe that God is there comforting you and drawing you closer to Him. Don’t feel pressure TO POST, or WHAT YOU SHOULD POST ABOUT. Just do what you know you want or need to do. :D Also, not to belittle your situation, but I hope you know you’re not alone b/c we all go through funks, but some of us are hit harder at certain seasons in life. There’s a season for EVERYTHING! For crying, for laughing, for dancing, for resting, for mourning, for singing….Love you and have a greaaat day!!! <3

  15. allmysecrets247 September 13, 2011 at 3:29 pm #

    You are just amazing! I’ve been in a “funk” lately too, is it something in the air? I don’t know. I personally say more personal, I think that’s one reason why I follow so many blogs, is because I feel like I’ve connected with these people and I want to be there for them if anything bad comes around. If you keep it strictly business then you might not vent like you need it. I’ve felt at times that the reason why I have no followers is because all I do is complain because at one point it was more of a diary, and still is but now if I have nothing to say I won’t say anything whereas before I would just look at the negative in my life and write that down and possibly bore people to death, kind of like what I’m doing right now only like 500 more words.

  16. mindrunningwild September 13, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    I feel like my blogging comes and goes in spurts. Sometimes I feel like laying my heart on the line, and other times I have no idea what I’d even put together to make an interesting post. Ever since I got back from working at camp this summer, I’ve struggled to find anything “interesting enough” to make a post out of. Maybe this will change as I go abroad, but maybe not. Ii’m just rolling with it, like you. I admire that you’re evaluating how things go and that you didn’t force yourself into something unnatural when it didn’t feel right.
    I’ll miss your posts if you go away, but you’re always welcome, however often :)

  17. runyogarepeat September 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    Welcome back! I took a summer blogging break for similar reasons, and it felt so nice to have that break and just enjoy the summer without blogging pressure. I’m glad you took the break for yourself!

  18. Alaina September 13, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

    found your blog and your honesty really moved me! welcome back and hope that you find the way back your happiness! if you ever need anything, I am (now a new) friend to vent to! I look forward to watching your journey!

  19. Kate @ the pseudovegan September 13, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    what a nice post! i am not a huge commenter, but needed to reply. Hope you are feeling better soon. I know that “funk” all too well. I wish I could tell you how I get out of them, but somehow it always turns out ok! Looking forward to your future posts =]

  20. Brittany September 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm #

    I am with you on the matter of keeping the blog positive. There have been plenty of times I wanted to just RANT about my terrible day, but chose not to in order to keep my blog happy and upbeat. I think that these posts are good though. It lets bloggers get to know each other on deeper levels, and allows you to vent to people and get feedback. Funks are awful and I was in one for some time too in regards to where my life was heading. You just have to take the world on with your head held high and know that tomorrow is a new day. Welcome back =)

  21. Nicole @sugarcoatedsisters September 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    Yay I’m glad you’re back!!!!! Post whatever you like! Whatever comes naturally :) Can’t wait to keep reading!

  22. beautyinthebalance September 14, 2011 at 4:17 am #

    Happy revival :)

  23. Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance September 14, 2011 at 6:47 am #

    First of all, I just want to point out that you have a BEAUTIFUL writing style.

    Secondly, don’t blame yourself one second for the “funk” you’re feeling or the negative places that your mind has been wandering to. We all have our moments of weakness in different varieties, and you just need to find something to fill the “void” that you’re feeling. I’m glad to hear that working out and getting up more often has helped, and I’m sure that you will figure out this funk sooner rather than later.

    Thank you for your honesty! What a commendable post :)

  24. Tara September 14, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    Sorry it took me so long to comment on this – I actually read it when you posted it! I’ve just been hella busy. I’m so glad you’re getting yourself out of this funk. It’s so weird – my funks are the total opposite. I am so exuberant and happy and pleasant during the summer and on breaks, but I go into a state of semi-depression when I go back to school. My first week has been rough. I like to see personal stuff on blogs because I like to offer my opinion (if it is positive, otherwise i keep things to myself), my story, or at least be able to comfort the person! I’d love to see anything on your blog because I lurve it :) but I hate when people say that so I’m gonna say do a really random survey that asks fun questions or a vlog.

  25. megpinkgiggles September 15, 2011 at 5:04 am #

    I’ve been going through a funk myself. It’s tough sometimes, but totally normal to need a break from certain things. Good luck at school <3 always remember to take some time for yourself girl

  26. Rach @ This Italian Family September 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    *hug* So good to see your words again. I’ve missed you. And can I just say that I love the analogy with the pair of jeans… you are a great writer. :)

    As for the funk… I’m so sorry. I’m glad that you are taking those first steps toward getting out and doing more. That’s great, girl. I am definitely all about personal stuff on the blog! So no worries with over-share or anything. ;)

  27. Alexandra (Veggin' Out in the Kitchen) September 17, 2011 at 6:14 am #

    I’ve missed you, Nicole! <3 So glad you're back :D I'm sorry to hear you were in funk, but sooo glad that you're finding a way out of it! I know you'll be fully revived in no time!

    I get out of funks by making sure everything I do is super exciting! Fun food, outfits, activities, etc. that way I'm always looking forward to something! :)

    Oh and I definitely don't think you write fluff. I've always enjoyed all of your posts! Even the longer ones because they're extremely well written and based on an interesting topic :) And your pictures are always so gorgeous too!

    Have a wonderful weekend girly!! <3 <3

  28. itsthecookiemonster January 21, 2012 at 5:07 pm #

    i know exactly how u feel. i was stuck in a “funk” last year too and i don’t think i ever want to be in that position again. it takes time, but i choose to be happy :) welcome back to the blogging world :D

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